Date That Photo

October 15, 2015


Above: Read today's post for thoughts about the above photo of me and Dick. Click on the photo to see an enlargement.

Everyone seems to be posting “Throwback Thursday” stuff on Facebook all the time. I don’t know how that got started or how it really works (if it's linked to some trigger). But I do know that I was clearing the studio out this past week in order to reorganize my work flow and I found this photo.

Our friend found it while he was cleaning. He brought it over for us to see. None of us can remember which event this was taken at, but it’s probably late 80s, early 90s.

If I had clips in my hair I’d know exactly when this was, because the types of clips I've been able to purchase have changed over time. That’s the mystery. I never go out without putting clips in my hair—you never know when you’ll be chased by spies, or have to hot wire a car—you don’t want your hair in the way as you bend over. I wear my hair down at most funerals, but we look too happy here for this to be a funeral.

Also, Dick is wearing a shirt that he got before he met me. This isn’t a great indicator of time, since both of us tend to wear our clothing until it’s threadbare (or in my case paint splattered). But I was successful at getting my way with the colors I wanted him to wear (to bring out those ice blue eyes) and this is definitely in the overlap period.

That would make it the late 80s.

And to confirm that we can return to the no-hair clips. Since it isn’t a funeral it probably is some event that Dick told me about at the last moment, or “faked-me-out” about the time we needed to be there. I probably just got back from a run and had time to shower and dry my hair when he told me the real time.

Dick doesn’t do this to make my life difficult. He just lives on a different time line from the one I inhabit. He believes in 1960 traffic patterns and lack of congestion and doesn’t figure in the 10,000 variables I take into account when working backwards from needed arrival time to recommended departure time.

For a good portion of our relationship (what I like to call the “middle years”) we would actually drive separately to events because I hate being late (it’s so rude!) and no one expects Dick to be on time (everyone likes LB). Driving separately ensured that I would arrive in a frame of mind that still allowed me to pose for happy photos like this one.

We can’t date it by the weddings we attended because we aren’t dressed up enough for it to be a friend’s wedding.

So let’s go back to the issue of no hair clips, it must be the late 80s, because I stopped running at the end of 1988, after slipping on an icy step (while walking), and tearing all the ligaments in my ankle.

We can’t look to the vest for any indication of time frame, because whether vests are in fashion or not I love two things—vests and neckties. And I wear them all the time. (In fact I started a “Necktie Friday” at the last company I worked for, just so I would have a chance to show off some of the truly fine neckties I’ve collected over the years. Needless to say, despite the really cool posters I created to get the word out, it wasn’t much more popular than “Hats on Hump Day.”)

Given all the above factors, I would say it’s probably 1987 or 1988. I would also say that because I have that carefree look that doesn’t say “I could be home with my dog.” After fall 1989, when Emma came into our lives I have always got a rather wistful and distracted look in photographs.

At any rate, it was quite a shock when Chris brought the photo over so I could scan it. It seems a million years ago. It seems like yesterday. I guess the vest is vintage now! As is everything else.

  1. Reply

    Roz, Roz, Roz! I love this post. I love that photo of you and Dick. This one went right to the heart. You are a great storyteller, Roz. Thanks so much for sharing this photo today.
    Much Love,

    • Julana
    • October 15, 2015

    What a good-looking couple! Nice to meet Dick.

    • Lynn Manning
    • October 15, 2015

    Reading this was a great beginning to my morning! I must confess that I immediately checked out Dick’s eyebrows to see if they were as unruly then as you say they are now!

    • SusanLily
    • October 15, 2015

    Wow, what a beautiful-handsome couple!! You both look so happy, and I think you have the same smile then as now. Thanks for such a fun post to start my morning. I agree with Briana–you are a wonderful storyteller. And, like Lynn, I had to check out Dick’s eyebrows! My husband and I must inhabit the same timelines as you and Dick; I work backwards from all arrival times and he, well, doesn’t.

    • Debbie
    • October 15, 2015

    What a great photo! I loved your story too!

    • Gail Hight
    • October 15, 2015

    Thanks for sharing this – a great start to my morning! Just love how fresh and beautiful you both look in this photo – and your story, as usual, delightful. I understand the time line business completely as well.

    • EVA
    • October 15, 2015

    Such a great photo – very cute!

    You both look so young – you about 16-18 and Dick a bit older. Even though you’re not dressed for a wedding – the tables in the background look set for a fancy-ish event like at a hotel or banquet room. The lady behind Dick is dressed up. I see a rose behind you… Clues? 🙂

    Hope you figure it out! Your friend who had the photo didn’t remember? (Or have others from the same event around?)

  2. Reply

    Thank you Briana, since you know both of our current manifestations I know that it’s going to be extra fun to see the “then”!

  3. Reply

    Meg, you ask a very interesting question because it was actually more than a mental or attitudinal difference of timeline when were FIRST started dating! Dick had been working as a guard to earn money for school and he was a night person. I had always been an early morning person. We did a lot of adjustments! And over the course of our life together we’ve had even more. But we always found some time. And even though we weren’t living very far from each other in the early days we talked a lot on the phone. I’m glad you enjoyed this post, and that you enjoy vests!!!

  4. Reply

    Click on the Richard category Julana and you’ll see a myriad of sketches that I make of Dick—I end up sketching him 2 or more times a week when it’s the end of the day and I haven’t been able to sketch anything else from life. He’s not only a patient sitter, he’s not bothered by the results. I have a heck of a time with his eyebrows! Which as we can tell from this photo, were even then, poised to take over the world!

  5. Reply

    Yes! Lynn, and you can see it can’t you, hiding behind his glasses. Even back then you could braid them, though of course no one would try to do that would one?

  6. Reply

    SusanLily, I feel for you about working backwards, and your husband not. For a long time I was even responsible for MAKING Dick comply because we had so many outings with his folks (to go to the theatre and dinners and such when they were younger and mobile). But finally I gave up on that. My m-i-law told me when I first started living with Dick that I was not put on earth to pick up after him. And she has supported me ever since. (Every day she still says to me, “Is he treating you right? Because if he isn’t I’ll kick him in the ass for you.” You have to understand that Phyl is not one to say “ass” lightly, and she has kicked a lot of people into action during her life!)

    Anyway, based on all that I also figured I wasn’t put on earth to be his time keeper. That’s so wonderful!

    Now I have to think for a moment on my afternoon and work backwards…

  7. Reply

    Thank you Debbie.

  8. Reply

    Thanks Gail. Fresh is a nice word. I thought that too. Now I am ALLLLLLLL Worn out, and if he bothers to comb his hair Dick still looks FRESH.

    Sigh. The things we do for love.

    Hang in there with your timeline issues!

  9. Reply

    EVA, there is definitely something going on in the background, and it isn’t a restaurant we went to back in the day. I have tried to look closely at the people you can see inthe background, but they don’t look familiar to me. I think it might be a swimming-related dinner because Dick was a swimmer in college (he still swims every day), and I only knew a handful of those folks, because I didn’t meet Dick until graduate school. It would also explain why Chris was there to take the photo, since he was also a swimmer. Chris took so many photos back then. And he found this shuffled in with things out of context. Those days of slides and film that’s a ton of stuff to sort through. If someone could just recognize the man behind my head, the man still sporting 1970s sideburns! (Which is really confusing because I didn’t know Dick then!) But we have the photo thanks to Chris and it’s a fun one. There are actually very few photos of both of us together. I should pull out some that I have, like our holiday card photos. Those are pretty funny.

    • Karen
    • October 15, 2015

    Adorable. Love this photo, and you, and Dick, and your story!

  10. Reply

    EVA, I forgot to address the youth appearance! I was carded at a PG movie when I was 28, so I didn’t get worn down for a little bit. Dick is already in his 30s here.

  11. Reply

    Sweet! Love those old photos.

  12. Reply

    Thanks Karen, you know both of us now, so it must be funny to see us from before. I know it’s funny for me to look at it!

  13. Reply

    Thanks Roberta, I just might have to show some of those old holiday card photos! (Maybe around the end of the year to encourage people to send me their holiday newsletters which I LOVE!)

  14. Reply

    That is a great photo, you both look so very handsome and happy! Actually, with the fashions being what they are, it could have been taken yesterday.

    • Suzalele
    • October 15, 2015

    Great photo and post. Forget you and Dick, I wanna meet your M-I-L!

    • Karen
    • October 15, 2015

    Richard looks so sly…

    • Miss T
    • October 15, 2015

    Roz, you two could not be more adorable!

  15. Reply

    He does look like the cat who swallowed a mouse doesn’t he! We must have been somewhere with his friends!

  16. Reply

    Viktoria, I will remember your words next time my mom tells me to lose the vests!!!! Thank you!

  17. Reply

    Good choice. She is bar far the best person to meet. She is, well I just can say enough good things about her.

  18. Reply

    Thanks Miss T!

    • Lori
    • October 15, 2015

    Love it and love the story.

  19. Reply

    Thanks Lori, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    • SusanLily
    • October 15, 2015

    I want your mother-in-law! It would never occur to mine to ask if her son was treating me right (which he is, but that’s beside the point). She’s more likely to ask if her daughters-in-law are treating her sons right. And I don’t think she’s ever said “ass” or any other slang or swear word in her entire life. Somehow I think I’d like her better (or at least relate to her better) if she had enough sass in her to kick some butt.

    • Debbie Thornhill
    • October 15, 2015

    Beautiful photo, Roz and a great story!

    • Suzanne
    • October 16, 2015

    Totally enjoyed going back in time with you. Such happy faces!

  20. Reply

    Phyl has NEVER asked me if I’m treating Dick right. She has ample evidence that I am. Her concern grows out of her knowledge that her son is so very much like his father. (Both are engineers, and think the same way about many things, both are workaholics, and they look so similar it’s a bit scary. I call Dick a clone sometimes. They have the same mannerisms!) She knows how difficult it was in her relationship with CR—they had a great relationship, but she made it work.

    I think her concern for my wellbeing is even more touching given that she adores her son Dick and is unapologetic about loving him the most (he had a brother and has a sister). From anyone else this might seem silly, absurd, or even cruel (to the other children) but when she has said it (and they were all adults) it was already obvious and obvious because of the fact that he was her first child and “perfect” and of course, exactly like the man she loved. But also her first opportunity to give someone unconditional love. That’s what Phyl excels at—unconditional love.

    So when she offers to intervene on my behalf it’s even more significant, given her feelings toward Dick.

    Phyl is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

    I will have to write a post about her!

    • Joe
    • October 16, 2015

    Roz, you and Dick make a very handsome couple but what an eclectic life you’ve had. I’m glad you guys learned how to tough it out. Same rule applies to your approach to your artwork I see. Diligence is a blessing!

    • Dana
    • October 16, 2015

    I also checked out Dick’s eyebrows. I have a dear friend who has his own set of unruly brows; he blames them on his English heritage, believing them to be coded in his genetic material and having absolutely nothing to do with his advancing age! Now if Dick has some English in him… well, I may have to reluctantly give in!

    It’s a wonderful photo Roz… and I loved hearing more of Phyl. Those of us who have great MILs are fortunate indeed!

  21. Reply

    Dana, it’s the worst situation it can be here: Dick is SCOTTISH, IRISH and FINNISH. With a little bit of German. EYEBROWS, EYEBROWS…


    But at least they come with a great mother in law.

  22. Reply

    Joe, great to hear from you. And yes we just keep toughing it out. A sense of humor helps!

    I hope you are getting lots of sketching done and don’t need a kick in the pants!

    • Elaine
    • October 17, 2015

    Adorable! What a great story trying to figure out the timeline. I love the way your mind works, Roz.


    • SusanLily
    • October 17, 2015

    Yes, do!

    • Julana
    • October 18, 2015


    • Molly R
    • October 19, 2015

    I needed a good chuckle tonight & the mental image of you braiding Dick’s eyebrows certainly did it. 🙂 I can’t imagine you NOT trying to…. HA!

  23. Reply

    Funny and sweet to see this.

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